When one of his pals from the pub was moving house, Joe showed up with his van. If anyone was in debt, he was good for a loan. Yes, he was true to his Aries starsign – generous of spirit, spontaneous. But he was also irresponsible to the point of recklessness and had forgotten the old maxim that charity begins at home.

His wife Karen was unhappy. It seemed he was never home. As for risky loans to his drinking pals … on the day Karen learnt they were behind with the mortgage, she, who budgeted so carefully, decided their marriage was over.

At first, she felt she must go, and wept as she vacuumed her way to the door. But her starsign was Cancer, it was her home. Tenacity kicked in and Karen decided he must go. And so she parcelled up all his clothes, all immaculately ironed, and sent them to the pub with a note saying: “Since you practically live there, you might as well move in.” Deep down, she meant only to bring him to his senses. But Aries can take things at face value. So he asked the landlady for a room …

Karen pined. She tormented herself with visions of him living his ideal life, always at the pub. Perhaps when he’d invited her to go to the pub with him, she should have said yes. Well, now, with some fear in her heart, she was walking into the pub to look for him.

She was surprised at how relaxed it was. “What can I get you?” asked the landlady. 

“I want my husband back,” Karen heard herself saying. “He’s not here,” was the reply. Karen imagined him lost to another … “He’s missing you so” He said you’d need some extra money, so he’s working overtime.”

“I’ll wait for him,” Karen said. But her heart thudded as she saw David, her old passion from college days, by the bar. Perhaps Joe had stayed away too long.